I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize