I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
