he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
