weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
