it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
