Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
