I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
