I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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