I want to stick my p in your. b.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
