so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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