I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
