you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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