my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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