Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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