I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
