Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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