I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
