So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
