I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
