My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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