just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
