This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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