Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
