i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've blown a few things in my day
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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