If i come over, it means nothing
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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