you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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