So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
