This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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