Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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