For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize