planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize