I just made out with a guy for $7.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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