Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize