covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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