What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize