It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize