He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
