She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
