Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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