Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
