i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
