I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
