dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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