well you can't waste a boner
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
