I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
