so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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