The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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