someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Mom said you looked used
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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