Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
