I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
