I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
