I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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