You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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