i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
