SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
