you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
