he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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