going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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