I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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