u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
