Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
love makes seman taste better
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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