are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
