96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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