I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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