We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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