Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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