Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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