Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
