she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
