I wannas sexs uuuuu
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
