He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
