ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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