Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
