I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
