Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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