I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
