does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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