I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
