Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
