My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
