Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
