Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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