don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
