p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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