Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
